The Grown Ups are All Stressed

It’s common knowledge that being chronically stressed is bad for our mental and physical health. Still, a large number of adults consider themselves to be overstressed. And while we know that too much stress isn’t good for us, we continue to place ourselves under it. Obviously things could stand to change. 

When you’re young, you buffer stressors better and can bounce back faster. Hands up if you’ve noticed that as you’ve aged (like a fine wine but still), you notice you can’t quite hang with the young bucks anymore. Or, when you go all out in an attempt to show ‘em who’s boss and do just that, you pay a mighty price. Some of the reasons for this are outside of your control. As we age our muscles, bones, and connective tissues become a little less resilient. Your responsibilities are likely greater in number and degree of importance now than a decade or two ago, right? You have so many time constraints, to-dos, and things to do for others on your schedule that just hitting the gym a couple of days during the week, plus maybe once on the weekends, is a huge success. It is! And I don’t suggest you do more, but you can do better. In fact I’d say you must do better if you want to maximize what you have left in the tank. 

There Is No Tiger

Your nervous system is amazing. The sympathetic (aka SNS, the “fight or flight”) branch developed to give you a jolt of energy to deal with and survive acute stresses. Back in the day (like waaay back) this meant stuff like running to catch your dinner, running from some bigger animal that wanted to turn you into its dinner, or fighting off some potential threat. The sequence goes something like this: Sense threat > Run From or Fight Threat > Relax (either because you successfully dealt with the situation, or are now dead). Nowadays your “fight or flight” response can be constantly on GO mode because you are constantly on the go. All you have to do is open up your laptop or phone to be bombarded by the talking heads shouting about the state of the world, how we’re going to die tomorrow, how everyone not in our camp is awful and you are under attack by them. I can hear it…“Wait a minute…another guy telling me I need to relax?”. Yes, and I’m hoping that maybe this is time you’ll do it. 😉

While there are many things we can and should do to improve the world for yourself and everyone in it, there is no tiger coming at you at this moment, and you need to consciously let your body know that. Chronic stress can make you dumb, and will eventually affect everything from your digestion to sexual performance. 

Chill Out

If stress overload and a lack of skillful ways to manage it can negatively impact your health and performance, reducing it can lead to a better you. Reducing your overall load may mean taking away some stuff at first…Like not exercising to “burn calories” or doing soul-crushing, 40+ minute HIIT sessions every other day; Letting go of dogmatic and restrictive (to you) diets; Quitting the doom scrolling and swiping through your hate follows until 10pm becomes 1am. 

In the name of first things first, these are the perennial leaders to reduce stress:

• Performing resistance training exercises a few days per week with good technique and progressive overload as technique allows.
• Going for regular walks (not runs!) and getting those steps in.
• Being patient and focusing consistently on the basics of good nutrition – eating mostly whole foods, drinking clean water, and having lean protein and fruits and/or veggies in the majority of your meals.
• And, maybe also give up “relaxing” with “just one” drink every night so you can go to bed at a decent hour and wake up with a clear head more often than not. 

Already there? HIGH FIVE!!! 🙌 Good for you. Now we get to discuss some other techniques and principles to implement to give yourself a chance to outrun those pesky mental sabertooths. This is where we’ll get all Zen (or not, but let’s get you focused on relaxation.) When relaxation doesn’t always just happen, you have to put forth intent and effort. A few tools shown to activate the Parasympathetic (PNS, aka rest and digest, tend and befriend) branch of the Autonomic Nervous System and initiate a relaxation response include:

• Yoga. Obvious, right? Yoga can be a great balance to exercise and strength training for its capacity to help develop flexibility, stability, and balance, but also for the opportunity in its slowness to tune in with your body/mind and down-regulate that hypervigilant SNS of yours. There are many styles of yoga and studios around. Many gyms also offer classes, so if yours has one, take it. If not, consider taking an introduction course at a reputable yoga studio, or hiring a private instructor for a few sessions to learn the basics. Remember the goal is to reduce stress so don’t be all type-A and try to be the best yogi in class. Remember…you’re here to chill. Also don’t go crazy trying to “find” another few hours in your schedule. Instead, create a routine short enough that it fits your current one. Taking a 90 minute class a time or two a week is great if you have the time and money, but 10 minutes of daily practice next to your bed or sofa is even better.

• Meditation. Another obvious one, but are you doing it? There is more and more research that points to vagus nerve stimulation through mind-body techniques like yoga and meditation leading to an anti-inflammatory response in the body. There are many schools of meditation but I recommend keeping it simple to begin. Lots of people “fail” an attempt at a meditation practice because they have this idea that they need to be seated on the floor, twisted into an uncomfortable pose, inhaling a room full of incense while reaching a state of bliss. Not so. Think of meditation as an opportunity, for as little as 5 minutes or so a day, to do NOTHING at all. Find a posture that feels comfortable (sitting in a chair or laying down is fine) and just notice what’s happening. Notice sounds, feelings, thoughts, or just watch your breath come and go. It will be uncomfortable at first since we’re so used to always doing SOMETHING, but stick with it and you might learn to love it. There are lots of classes and techniques available so get some guidance if you need it. I’m biased but I really like the twice weekly 30 minute live sessions we offer! And I personally also really like the Headspace and Insight Timer apps, in fact I’ve been an avid user of both. After many attempts at a routine over about 20 years, it was finally Andy Puddicome and that mellow British voice of his guiding me through headphones that made it stick. Though setting a regular time may be best, you can use these apps anywhere and any time. My wife once did a 20 minute meditation on a crowded and rowdy NYC subway ride, up to Yankee Stadium for the game. You can literally practice any time you have a few minutes. 

• Relaxed Breathing. Just like meditation and yoga, there are many, many ways to do breathwork. Keep it simple when starting out and try this. While sitting or laying down comfortably, close your eyes. Inhale for a 4 count, followed by exhaling for an 8 count. Breathe deeply through your nose on the in, expanding your belly and rib cage as you do, and slowly let the exhalations sort of just go through your nostrils or lips, letting yourself sigh if that feels right. You’ll receive almost immediate benefits from as few as three of these but you can go for five to ten minutes, even longer if you want. 

Go Undercover

Sleep. Not just more, but better. I know, another obvious one, I never said the advice would be sexy. But not getting sufficient time and quality rest is one of the most common issues we see in our clients. Lack of it has been linked to ADHD-like symptoms. The time you spend snoozing and dreaming is where you do your best “rest and digest” work, so try to make yours a little bit better. 8 restful hours a night might be ideal, but if you’re regularly getting 5 then 6 is a step in the right direction. Some things you can try to shift into sleep mode and get those Zzzzzs:

• Set a bedtime. Yes, you’re an adult, but staying up late to watch another episode of whatever or flip through your phone again isn’t contributing anything meaningful to your life…is it?

• Limit caffeine. It stays active in your body for up to 10 hours after ingesting it, so reconsider that last cup of coffee or tea. If you’re taking a caffeine laced pre-workout supplement before your 7pm group class and trying to fall asleep by 11, stop. In fact, maybe reconsider taking pre-workouts all together, hmmmm? Maybe replace that second drink with a warm mug of herbal tea. 

• Go dim. Turn off screens and dim the lights. 30 minutes before the bedtime you set, begin a sleep ritual-  turn off the tv, close the laptop, and put your phone away. The downtime setting on your iPhone can be very helpful for this. 

• Go dark. Make your bedroom as dark as possible, and keep your phone shut off or turned upside down and silent.

• Go cold. Set your bedroom to a cool temp. You should feel just slightly cold when you’re getting under the covers.

• Perform a “Brain Dump”. You’ve probably got a lot on your plate for tomorrow that you can’t do anything about tonight, so there’s no benefit stressing about it as you try to get some z’s. Write down (on a piece of paper, not an electronic device) a list of things you will deal with tomorrow, or just stuff you’re worried about in general. Then put the thoughts aside with the paper and they can rest while you do the same.  

Lastly, and if you’ve got all those bases covered, here are a few supplements that might be of benefit. Of course, ask your doctor if you should experiment with these. 

• Magnesium. It can help relax muscles and ease cramping and spasms.   About 400 mg 30-60 minutes before bed is the general recommendation, or you could take an epsom salt bath. 

• Valerian Root. This stinky root may help reduce the amount of time it takes you to fall asleep and improve the quality of your sleep. Use as directed on the label. 

Be Your Best, Today

So you might be losing your edge over the young ‘uns at the gym. You might not be THE best anymore, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be YOUR best. Maximizing your current and future potential involves many factors within your control, so focus on those! Train smart and recover smarter. Put down the phone and go to bed. Treat yourself like the complex being you are, one for whom the modern version of that tiger can be social media, your job, the news, bills, or that ruminating, anxious mind of yours. Even the things we generally rely on to soothe us, like exercise or family and friend relationships, can become stressors when they’re out of balance. The different parts of our lives don’t stay in neat little boxes. They’re all intertwined and can and will affect each other. Your first task is to pay attention. You can’t get younger, but you can get smarter.