3 Meaningful Moments
I recently joined a mentoring group and one of the first exercises we were asked to do was to recall 3 Meaningful Moments; one from Childhood, one from Adolescence and one from Adulthood. We were then asked to look for commonalities between these 3 moments and see if we could find one word that encapsulates them all.
I have to admit that I didn’t want to do this at all. I had this underlying feeling of resistance that I couldn’t pinpoint. As I thought about why, I realized that some of it was just the procrastinator in me wanting to delay doing the “homework” for as long as possible. But if I’m being honest, it was really more about my anxiety of what memories would surface, needing to analyze their commonalities, and then being vulnerable enough to share them with a group of people I just met. I immediately had fears that my memories wouldn’t be memorable enough, or that there wouldn’t be any links between them, or that I’d choose the wrong ones. I realize now how ridiculous this sounds since they are MY memories but man was I looking hard for a reason to stall.
Childhood:
The first memory that stands out to me is of my Uncle Marcus (my father-figure) taking me to sign up for T-ball. I think I was nervous at first because there weren’t any other girls on the team yet but he said that shouldn’t stop me from doing something I wanted to do. As I think back on it now, I honestly don’t know if it was ever intended to be a boys-only team but that’s how the memory unfolds for me. The message I took away is that even if I didn’t conventionally belong, I still had every right to be there.
Adolescence:
In looking through old pictures for my last blog post, I came across a photo of me at my high school graduation party. Every graduating senior seemed to have one so there were a lot of competing parties on the same day. I remember not only being worried about whether people would show up to my party but also being embarrassed of my family and my Mexican culture. This would be the first time that people would be coming into my home and I was worried that my family was different from everyone else. My family decided to serve more traditional Mexican fare like fajitas, beans and rice and I really didn’t think anyone would like it. But people came, they loved the food and my family didn’t embarrass me too much. It may have taken me a bit but I realized that I didn’t have any reason to “hide” who I was. It was maybe one of the first steps in learning to be myself and not worry about what others think of me. (FYI–still a work in progress!)
Adult:
In 2020, after 22 years of living in NYC, my husband and I decided to move out of the city. We had spent the last dozen years of our lives in Brooklyn so it seemed fitting to have our goodbye gathering in Prospect Park. It was such a bittersweet day because we had to say goodbye to a lot of people we loved and to the relationships we’d built over the years, but it was also an exciting step towards a new beginning. I felt so grateful for the opportunity to have really meaningful conversations and to hear so many people share how we had positively impacted their lives. And even though I was nervous and shed tears a bit, I was able to confidently speak to a large group of people without freaking out. I was able to echo their gratitude and convey my love and appreciation for everyone there in a truly confident and proud way.
As I reflect on these memories, I see someone who hasn’t always felt like she fit in and has often second-guessed herself. Whether it was because of gender or culture or experience or smarts, there was this underlying thought of “do I belong here?” or even “do I deserve this?”. I now know that the answer is Yes. So as I thought about what word would best describe these moments, I first landed on Confidence or Resiliency. While these experiences did lead me to develop those qualities, I think the more fitting word might actually be Growth.
From literally growing up with sports as a huge part of my life (both recreationally and professionally), to growing into a person who isn’t ashamed of herself, her family, her culture or of not being the ‘norm’, to growing meaningful relationships, to growing as a strong, independent woman. I’ve experienced Growth in every sense of the word and that has shaped me into the confident and resilient person I am today.
Until next time,
Jess
Share with us!
Do you have 3 meaningful moments you’d like to share? What would be your word that links them all together? Please share in the comments below!