Practicing Silence 🙊

In my last article, I gave a full rundown of what my daily Morning Routine looks like and referenced a framework called S.A.V.E.R.S as a way to start each day. I’ve been using some version of this Miracle Morning since 2018 and thought I’d spend some time digging a little deeper into each one.  My goal is to offer ways to incorporate each of these concepts into your daily routine and make them seem less daunting.

Here’s a reminder of what the S.A.V.E.R.S are:

• Silence

• Affirmations

• Visualizations

• Exercise

• Reading

• Scribing/Journaling

Today we’re talking about Silence.  No, not the 2016 Scorsese film about two 17th century Portuguese missionaries embarking on a perilous journey to Japan…BTW has anyone seen this?  Is it worth the 2h 41m!?!   

Sorry, I got sidetracked there!  We’re actually talking about the noun Silence defined by Merriam-Webster as:

1. forbearance from speech or noise : MUTENESS 

2. absence of sound or noise : STILLNESS 

In our world of overstimulation, multi-tasking, computers in our pockets, children needing fed, dogs needing walked, bluetooth headphones, garbage trucks, never-ending construction, and unstoppable die-hard Type A personalities, Muteness and Stillness can seem near impossible.  Personally, I know that once my day gets going, it’s hard for me to stop whatever it is I’m doing and find stillness. And if I do pause, I’m still thinking about my to-do list, what I’m going to eat next and how much time has already passed…usually all at the same time.

That’s why I find the best time to practice Silence is in the mornings before the day truly starts. Not that your mind still won’t run off to those things, often referred to as a monkey mind, but there’s a greater likelihood of not being as distracted by other external forces.   

Perhaps one of the most common ways that people incorporate silence into their lives is through a Meditation practice. Now I know that some of you might be like, I’ve tried meditating in the past and it’s just not for me. I’ve totally been there. As a person who fidgets and can’t really sit still (ask my husband how much he loves sitting next to me on the couch during a movie), the idea of sitting quietly and not doing anything seemed like the last thing I wanted to do. In time however, and with repetitive practice and committing to ‘trying’ for 4+ years now, it’s become one of my most treasured parts of the day.

While there are numerous scientific studies that show the benefits of meditation, my intention isn’t to imply that a formal meditation practice is the only way to find silence. However, it’s worth noting that there are many different types of meditation (Headspace, the OG meditation app, describes at least 16 different types) and perhaps there’s one out there that feels doable to you.

Regardless, here are some tips that could help you find a little more silence in your day:

• Do it first thing.

  • Sure, do your normal bathroom business then try to practice.

  • Maybe this means just sitting up from your bed and practicing right there. Turn on a light to make sure you don’t fall back asleep.  

• Start small.  

  • This could mean as little as 1 minute.  

  • Set a timer on your phone, press start then turn your phone upside down.  

  • The next day try adding another minute or even 30 seconds.  Once you hit 5 minutes, practice that consistently for at least 2 weeks before considering extending the time further.  Or stay right there, 5 minutes is totally fine! 

• Minimize distractions

  • Find a quiet spot where you can be alone. Yes, this might even mean the bathroom if you live in a full house.

  • Kick out any pets/kids if at all possible.

  • Use earplugs or headphones to reduce outside noises.

  • Close your eyes or lower your gaze to minimize visual distractions.

  • Turn off notifications on your phone or leave it in another room if you’re not using it as a timer. 

• Find a comfortable position that works for you

  • Whether it’s sitting on a chair, couch, the floor or a zafu, choose whatever is available.

  • Sit in whatever position feels most comfortable and don’t be afraid to adjust if it doesn’t feel right.  There’s no perfect way to sit!

  • Or, take a mindful walk!  Leave your phone and headphones behind and just observe and listen to your surroundings…you might gain a new perspective on what you see or hear. 

• Create Accountability

  • Download a meditation app and use that to track your progress.  There are tons of apps out there now so pick a free one and give it a shot.

  • Find a ‘silence’ buddy. (I’m available)

  • Join a Group.  Might I suggest the Tues/Fri 8am Mindfulness class that my better half has been leading for over 2 years now?  😉

  • Use a good old-fashioned calendar and mark off the days you practice.  Ok, maybe this is just me but I get such satisfaction in crossing days off! 

• Choose a better time that works for you

  • If mornings just don’t work for you right now, that’s ok.  Think about the day ahead and plan a short break in advance.

  • This could be a short “timeout” right before eating lunch, a solo post-dinner no headphones walk, or yes, even an extended bathroom break.

  • Bonus points for getting outside!

In perhaps some irony, I chose to write this article from the Dayton Public Library which I assumed would offer me a nice quiet place to focus. Instead, I’m surrounded by the sounds of teens gossiping, a seniors women’s group playing some sort of dominoes, a cell phone ringing, the crunching of a potato chip bag and the echoing sounds of a too loud conversation.  

Silence is hard to find even in places where you might expect it! So why not start your day with just a bit of silence to ensure you get it in before any of the madness occurs.